At the beginning of the year I started writing and one of the things I wrote was inspired by one of my favorite country songs by John Michael Montgomery called Life's a Dance. The second verse goes: "Life's a dance you learned as you go, sometimes you lead sometimes you follow, it doesn't matter about what you don't know, life's a dance you learn as you go".
This couldn't be more true. Yesterday I learned that an 18 year old boy and his father hadn't hug each other since the father's birthday, and it had been some months ago. When I heard this I couldn't help but feel sad for them as I asked myself how can that happen? Where have the family values go? Why is it so hard for some people to express affection with something so simple and pure as a hug or a kiss.
Once upon a long time ago as my then six year old son gave me a kiss one of his ucles teased him by telling him that what he had just done was sissy stuff (I'm putting it mildly), after putting this person in his place for making such a stupid comment I turned to my son and looked straight into his eyes and told him, "Son one thing you need to learn and to always remember is that you will never ever be too old to give your dad a kiss". That was over 20 years ago and to this day and without exception every time my son sees me he will always greet me with a kiss, I think he shows me respect by doing this but ultimately he shows his love form me.
When it comes to family our love is unconditional, we feed off eachother's love and use it as the main and most important ingredient for our relationships, to us this is a natural part of our everyday life, and it boggles my mind that there are families out there that have lost these kinds of gestures that should be a normal part of their lives. A hug and a kiss are totally free but the value of the gesture is priceless... and no this is not a commercial for a credit card.
So thank you my son for not forgeting such a simple lesson, in the long run it has paid great dividends.
My family is not perfect, our life is not perfect, our relationship with eachother is not perfect, but there's no denying that as imperfect as we may be we are lucky to have each other.
So keep in mind that it's never to late. This kid we met said he'll try his best to learn this lesson too. It really isn't hard to do but as a reminder just sing along... life's a dance you learn as you go, sometimes you lead, sometimes you follow and for some dumb reason you feel that you just don't know, remember that life's a dance you learn as you go.
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10 comments:
oh that is beautiful! I love it!
Yea life's a dance,and
i'm dancing as fast as
i can.
Yes, I'm a witness to such kisses. They warm my heart.
I shared the story of my brother and his son with my Godson once.
He must have been around 15 years old at the time. He was visiting me and I asked him to accompany me to the store. Having 3 girls, I am used to holding their hand as soon as we get out of the car.
So, I walked closed to him and automatically reached for his hand. He pulled it away and told me, "Nina, I'm not a little kid any more, I can take care of myself!" To which I pointed out that my holding his hand had nothing to do with taking care of him, but rather a sign of affection and unity. Then I proceeded to tell him my brother’s story.
To this day, my Godson & I are very close and he is 19 now and is not afraid to show his affection anymore.
Unfortunately, to many people in our society, “affection” private or public, is seen as;
Not cool, a sign of weakness or simply an action for sissies (with all do respect).
If people only knew what they were missing.
I agree. I LOVE to see my brother kiss my Dad! Like my Tia Chely, they too warm my heart. You can see that when Juan kisses my Dad it is because he truly wants to. Not because he feels forced.
I feel very lucky to have a family that openly shares their love and affection for each other.
Touching post. Sounds like you have a great Dad. Congrats!
I am glad you put the uncle in his place. What a terrible thing to say. I personally don't kiss my dad. His side of the family just isn't very affectionate and it rubbed off from him to me. I personally don't even like giving anyone a kiss other than my wife. Do I think it is wrong o kiss others? No. Just makes me feel uncomfortable...
Very nice. I always tell my daughters that when they are deciding whether or not to date a guy, to pay attention to how he acts toward his parents. It says a lot about a boy when he is affectionate, especially toward his dad.
Priscilla - Thank you, I love it too.
Michelle - Slow down as you may miss something, it's better to learn as you go but at your own pace.
Chely - You know how we are. Love and affection runs through our veins.
Michelle - I love gettin your kisses too and Nikki's they are all special.
Battlerocker - Yeah, my Dad was the best.
Mr. Manuel - My point exactly, a gesture of love and affection for some turns into something uncofortable therefoe it is not displayed.
My son is the only one in the family that will kiss not only me but his older uncles, they won't dare call him a sissy though because at 250 pounds and looking like he is Samoan instead of Hispanic they rather welcome his love than his aggression.
Suzi - Good parenting and good advice.
Heck, Loyiel even kisses his dad. So see, it must not be the "sissy" thing to do!
Yep, very similar and a very good post. Thanks for letting me know...I'm sure I missed a lot before I started reading your posts.
My son and I have a similar relationship...we always hug and kiss each other on the check and say, out loud, "Love you!"
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